This Time

I really think it's going to happen this time.  Everything feels different--I've gone jogging 3 days this week, for goodness sake.  I've never gone jogging a day in my life, other than when forced to in gym class.  I could still eat less, but I've improved my eating and will continue to do so.  Every time I think about eating, I think about Biggest Blogging Loser and turning 30 and Penelope and the promises I've made to myself this time, and I finally feel like it IS going to happen, not like I'm just saying it and trying to convince myself.  And I feel SO HAPPY because I BELIEVE that I'm going to lose 20 pounds and it feels SO GOOD.

Today I did Week 1, Day 3 of training with my Couch to 5k app, and it was mid-morning and light outside and not freezing-ass cold for the first time, and it was lovely.  I came home and showered, and then as I was standing in front of the mirror my face was all rosy and I just felt like I looked better than I have in years.

I don't know if it's endorphins or what, but at the end of my first run on Tuesday and again today while jogging, I got this rush of emotion that I was REALLY DOING IT, and almost started crying.  Happy crying.  I'm even thinking of adding in an extra run tomorrow morning before church so there's not a 2-day gap before starting Week 2, and to take advantage of this crazy warm weather while it lasts--high of 58 degrees tomorrow!  And it was in the 40s already while I ran this morning!  What?  Sure beats the 25 degrees I got on Tuesday. (edit: I did go out on Sunday, but in the afternoon, and mostly walked.  But it was a good bridge from Week 1 to Week 2!)

When I signed up for BBL, I didn't even make the connection to turning 30 at the end of May, but it really is perfect timing in so many ways for my life.  So here are some of the things I'm thinking about doing if and when I achieve a weight in the 140s and maintain it through the end of May:

• Get my nose pierced.  I've wanted to for years, and if my body is back down to pre-college weight, I think this is the only time to do it.  If I don't do it this year, I'm never going to do it.  I think I would just love a teensy, sparkly stud, especially if I'm feeling great about my body for the first time.
• Get professional photos taken of our family again.  I've been very happy with some of the photos I've taken with our DSLR, including the one I used for our Christmas card this year and PJ's weekly photos, but you guys.  I browse Jen Balgalvis's site, and I want that again (she did our newborn photos too, one is even in this gallery).  Real family photos with our adorable toddler (assuming she'll be walking by 16 months).  But first I might try having my lovely sister, who has mad photo skillz too, do a photo shoot with us and see what we get from that.
• Start biking to work again once it gets warmer, and get a seat for PJ to ride along--I like the Kangaroo Child Bike Seat because it's in front of the rider, so she can see everything and be a part of the ride.  I might even be able to transport her to my parents' house by bike on weekday mornings!  But I'm also interested in the trailer-style, which could carry groceries and other cargo in addition to PJ.  So we'll see.  Don't need to make that decision until the spring.
• Get a jogging stroller so I can take PJ along for morning jogs once the weather warms up and on days like today. I hate to have duplicate items, so I'd love to have a convertable bike trailer/jogging stroller.  I am always struggling with the feeling that we own way too much STUFF and should be reducing all the unused items we already own before we get more, so you can imagine how baby gear in general feels overwhelming to me.   This one would be amazing, but I don't think I can justify spending that kind of money.  This one looks promising, but man, I know how great BabyJogger products are.  I will definitely be trolling Craigslist to see if a POD shows up used, although I bet it would still be upwards of $250.  Honestly, the most likely outcome is that I'll get a used jogging stroller on Craigslist and wait on the bike trailer in favor of the Kangaroo seat.  And then we will have All The Baby-Transporting Things, and then our basement will be full less than 2 years into parenthood and I will go crazy.
• Actually run a 5k.  This item really isn't important to me...I don't care about my time, or how I compare to other people; I'm only using the C25K phone app as an easy way to properly and effectively ease into jogging, but if I stick with it for the 9 week program and beyond through May, and since my 30th birthday is Memorial Day weekend, it seems silly to not take that symbolic opportunity to run a 5k and start officially calling myself a jogger & believing it's true.  And who knows, maybe I'll love it and feel much more invested in jogging as a hobby at that point, it's too soon to tell!

Next jogging-related thing to explore: borrowing audiobooks from the Philadelphia Free Library.  I'm hopeful I'll be able to borrow & listen on my cell phone so they can work in conjunction with the C25K app.  Right now I'm listening to Musicophilia by Oliver Sacks, and it's quite interesting, but I'd love to try some fiction.